City Creek and the “True Order of Shopping.”


November 24, 2012 by Ron Madson

 Five Star Mall Review!– by Ron Madson

             So I awake this morning and find on Facebook many friends lamenting the latter-day materialism and signs of the coming Zombie Apocalypse linking this video of Wal Mart Shoppers:

To the untrained eye this may appear to be a sign of a total breakdown of the social order among our peasant class, but in fact the trained eye of  a PHD Anthropologist (yes I am summoning Dr. Daymon Smith to help explain this phenomena) might see it as the plebian class’ morning stretching and cardio—Wal-Mart’s version of a poor man’s gym membership.  Not to mention those that succeed through their strength in bringing home the most goods are more likely to succeed in perpetuating their breed rather then those losers found trampled at the bottom of the heap making for a stronger slave, I mean working class. But I digress.

This Thanksgiving I must express gratitude that myself, my family and those I can consider friends are not part of the economically-enslaved gladiator class scrapping to save every nickel,  and that every Black Friday we can point the finger of scorn at those whose ignorance and poverty wages, according to the proper order of capitalism, drive them to despair in saving a few bucks— all for our entertainment.  But more than that, I am so grateful that we are a chosen people while others around us perish for in their “perishment” we can see how much the Lord has blessed us above all people.  But again I digress from the purpose of this Holiday message of glad tidings.

God be praised that because of continuing revelation, we who have been gathered from the unwashed masses now can know the “True Order of Shopping.”    There has arisen a shopping mall light that has burst forth from the ashes of urban blight —-on the tops of the mountains where all true shoppers shall flow into it!  Hallelujah!  City Creek Mall!.

The City Creek mall is much more than a shopping ritual.  It is, when understood, the one and only “True Order of Shopping.”  However, to understand the profundity of that shopping experience one cannot go just one time to grasp the depth of the experience.  It requires going over and over again shopping for others to only begin to grasp the meaning of the Mall—and even then some of the greatest shoppers tell us that even after hundreds of visits they are only now beginning to grasp its true meaning.  But again in my exuberance, I digress in explaining the True Order of Shopping.

The True Order of Shopping begins before one even arrives at the mall.   For this mall is a house of order and peace and it begins with proper grooming and dress.  City Creek has placed large billboards throughout Salt Lake City showing the quality of dress, grooming and demeanor of those they are seeking to entice to come to their high ends stores.   Just a few billboards illustrate my point:

Here the model shoppers show us that it is appropriate to dress in one’s finest apparel, exceedingly fine hair grooming, and to touch it all off hold in one’s hand a glass with fine wine.   This separation from the worldly Wal-Mart types is glaringly obvious.  No one dressed and groomed like this would ever consider tugging at a Tiffany’s bracelet with another shopper no matter how much they wanted it lest their $1,200 haircut and styling be tousled.  And who would chase after the “blue light special” with a glass of Chablis wine in one’s hand?   And who ever consider diving into a pile of humanity with so much bare skin exposed to severe chaffing?  So it starts with proper grooming, fine apparel and aristocratic accessories in the true order of shopping.   And unlike Wal-Mart where everyone in jammed together, this great mall has spacious aisles so that no one ever need touch another human being.  It was well worth a couple extra billion for this alone.

Once at City Creek Mall the first thing one should notice from the directory of stores is that your coupons are not going to be of any value here:  “Brooks Brothers, Michael Kors, Tiffanys,   Nordstrom’s, and Porsche Design to drop a few names.   It would be unseemly to not encase these jewels in the finest box sparing no expense.  There we find silver and gold, fine-twined linen,  tinkling ornaments, cauls, chains, braclets, bonnets earring, rings and nose jewels, changeable suits of apparel, fine linen, wimples, and crisping pins….I get breathless and carried away each time I think of the bounty and beauty of this shopping mecca.

Finally, the true order of shopping is not to just look but to actually purchase and go all in!  It is not enough to be a cafeteria shopper, one must be embrace all that is being offered.  Eat, drink and shop till your credit limit is exhausted.  Do not leave until you can leave dressed for success with the finest apparel this world can offer.   Shop with complete confidence that the Lord will prosper you as you faithfully shop at the Lord’s shopping mall!

Now I know that there are some of you bitter, whiny critics out there saying that this high end shopping mall and the billions spent are wasted and inconsistent with what Jesus would do.   I can easily refute these whining heretics, but first I must say— echoing the words of someone who should have been our First Lady and who could appreciate such high end shopping—“JUST STOP IT!”   STOP IT NOW!   But I have an even more compelling reasons why the City Creek Mall represents the “True Order of Shopping” that would even make a F.A.I.R.S. Apologist weep with as much joy as finding their own first Chiasmus.  First, Presiding Bishop Burton, the very man the Lord appointed to guard over the Bishop’s storehouse, shared his testimony of this great endeavor:  “Every time I come over here, I think about the vision President Hinckley had to this endeavor”  and as a witness to this vision Bishop Burton adds this ratifying emotional confirmation:  “I could shed a tear.”  And secondly, we have a living prophet declaring the word of the Lord in our day and like a Proclamation to the World the First Presidency and much of the Quorum of 12 have spoken and not only invited us to shop but where to shop.

This is practically a Shopping Proclamation to the World!   And note that they said “Let’s Go Shopping” and not just gawking at the merchandise.  So get out this first Christmas season and spend, spend, spend at the one and only true City Creek Mall and leave the blue light specials and struggling to save a buck to those who know not the ways of the “True Order of Shopping.”

23 thoughts on “City Creek and the “True Order of Shopping.”

  1. tariq says:

    Put some suits and ties on those Wal Mart shoppers and it wouldn’t look that different than the floor of the New York Stock Exchange.

    • Ron Madson says:

      Absolutely I can totally see that. They all serve a role in making sure that the gross national products get grosser and grosser.

  2. Having visited the City Creek mall several times, apparently there is something irresistible about a free dinosaur play area…, I am taken aback by the reeking affluence and materialism that is loudly broadcasting from the movable roof. I suppose it is a good reminder that the homeless community of SLC has found a place outside the gates to the “True Order of Shopping”.

    Ron, you craft a good comparison here. Mormons, like myself, should be appalled at the worshiping of false idols, ourselves, and capitalism that takes place on days like today.

    • mark says:

      REALLY!!! Are you all so bitter that we finally have something nice in this state. The two blocks that City Creek used would have been commercial development regardless of who it was financed by. Plain and simple high end retail would have eventually came to Utah and no one is holding a gun to your head to go shop there.

  3. Ron Madson says:

    Christopher, City Creek did the homeless a great service by having heated sidewalks. While they are not allowed to loiter, then can walk back and forth and warm their feet.

  4. J. Madson says:

    My favorite view at City creek is from the second floor near the food area looking north. You can see three buildings: the lawyers on the left (Kirton McKonkie), bankers on the right (world trade center), and bureaucrats to the north (Cob). There is acourtyard in front of them where you can shop and buy your wares and brazen on a building in the middle of them all are the words The church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

  5. LDSDPer says:

    Well, I realize that I am guilty of Rameumptonness here, too–

    I ‘look down’ on those who go into the crowds to get a good deal. I’m not wealthy at all; barely even comfortable, if that–

    I won’t go into detail, but we work hard in order to avoid going to such places–

    and I feel superior about it, and that is wrong–

    whether City Creek or WalMart; I stay away–

    Yes, we need clothes and food, and we find them in quieter, out of the way places–

    but who am I to feel superior about that?

    As for City Creek mall, I haven’t been to Utah for over 4 years and then it was just to pass through the airport on my way somewhere else, and I was shocked at how controlling the airport regulators were in SLC–

    it was the ‘tightest’ airport I experienced, ever. Nobody cracked a smile, and the rigid order was almost frightening–

    it seemed to me to be a symbol, because on that same day I had been in two other airports of larger cities, and the securities people were relaxed and friendly–

    not so in SLC–

    I probably will never go to Utah again–even to be in the airport long enough to get somewhere else (it was a family funeral; I don’t travel much)–

    but I will never visit that mall–

    The entire thing saddens me–

    I wonder what is at the root of it–

    what sort of threat are these men under?

  6. Ryan says:

    Ah, City Creek. If only it was just about “bilking the Gentiles”.

    • It is about the Gentiles. The house of Israel is about the covenant people. What covenant have we here? This is the moneychangers, the liars, the hypocrites, and the blasphemers rolled into one.

      I will never enter City Creek unless it is to see the fall of the great and spacious building.

  7. Nicely written piece, Ron. Very enjoyable. I have a source who works at City Creek who tells me the buzz is very anxious about how well the shopping center will do in it’s first season. The great majority of folks living in the Wasatch Front do not have the means to support the high-end stores that make up City Creek. Already one restaurant has left the food court.

    When I saw the videos of opening day, I noted quite a few browsers, but only two or three carrying shopping bags. Curiousity drove most of the people out there, and I imagine the only section of the mall really doing any business must have been the food court. And if even that is doing so poorly that one of the lessees up and left just months after it opened, that does not bode well for this thing in the long run.

  8. Ron Madson says:

    Rock, it will be interesting to see if this investment succeeds financially. The evidence so far suggests that it was not a good financial investment. The cost of the condos has continued to drop and they began to rent out units instead of selling them. But perhaps the most telling from our non-transparent church is the statement by Bishop McMullin in the Business Week Article as reported by Caroline Winter:

    “McMullin explains that City Creek exists to combat urban blight, not to fill church coffers. “Will there be a return?” he asks rhetorically. “Yes, but so modest that you would never have made such an investment—the real return comes in folks moving back downtown and the revitalization of businesses.” Pausing briefly, he adds with deliberation, “It’s for furthering the aim of the church to make, if you will, bad men good, and good men better.”

    Sounds like ‘mission creep.” Now it is not about money but cleaning up downtown Salt Lake City–code for ridding it of the undesirables

  9. AV says:

    If any other Church were to advertise with women in immodest attire and sexy ads, members would be all over it, calling the kettle black. But because it is the LDS Church allowing such advertising then members are blindly obediently silent, accepting anything and everything the Church does, no matter how questionable.

    The adversary loves members to have blind unquestioning obedience for it’s leaders and Church, it makes his job so much easier.

  10. Forest Simmons says:

    My first semester at BYU in the fall of ’66, I was amazed at all of the time, energy, and fanfare devoted to collegiate sports. I was disappointed at the childish preoccupation with team sports among the LDS “cream of the crop.” Then when I saw that general authorities were some of the biggest fans, I decided to lighten up, and quit judging their choice of entertainment.

    Still, it did seem to me that a tithing supported institution should be more thoughtful about how to spend the widow’s mite. But then I found out that team sports constituted a huge cash cow for BYU. I then thought, “Who am I to steady the ark?”

  11. Forest Simmons says:

    This gives new meaning to the injunction (found in Luke 16:9) to “…make friends with the mammon of unrighteousness…”

  12. Connie Waterman says:

    Hi, Ron.

    Rock left this page open and I really enjoyed reading it. You are a very witty writer. I kept reading excerpts aloud to him. I couldn’t believe the billboard with the backless dress! On the one hand, the leaders lecture us on what we should and should not wear (or drink), on the other hand they are not above scraping and cowing for a buck.

  13. catsissie says:

    When the mall opened last year, I was moving from an apartment to my own mobile home…a big step. I’m catching up, and wondering, now that I know what’s in there, what kind of year it’s been. Most of the people I know welland I can’t even imagine buying anything in any of those shops. We’d be getting late notices from somebody we owed! And even people I know who are doing well probably would rather not spend their income there. So it begs the question–who does the shopping?

  14. french fries says:

    Hi there,
    just came accross your blog, coming from
    I’m a french member of the church who just found out about that city creek thing…
    After reading your excellent post, I browsed the internet to find some more. Photos of some GA cutting the ribbon (let’s go shopping ? seriously ?) but what I was worried about is tithing. Have they used tithin money ? or fast offering ? Is that true and proven ?

    Very few members in France follow lds blogs and know what’s going on. They would be surprised. (there is not one french lds related blog, I should start one !)

    We are so far from the Zion spirit as portrayed in the PoGP

    • Ron Madson says:

      French Fries—Bienvenue! Je parle Francaise–un peu. J’etait un missionaire en France et Suisse (Geneva/Switzerland Mission that included much of France) Look forward to your input with our blog.
      Should you start an LDS French Blog? Absolutely! What is your interest? Here at the Mormon Worker we focus on social justice issues that relate to our LDS faith. I/we believe that our sacred texts/teachings demand of us to be the voice of the “least” among us whether the poor,oppressed as well as our “enemies” that suffer at the hands of our US military.
      What is your take on the LDS Renounce War Declaration? We prepared it so as to give an opportunity for LDS members to Declare publicly our rejection of war as an option–as a matter of faith. Is it something that you would sign? Share with other French members? We stand in opposition to what has become a Mormon culture (at least in Utah) of supporting American hegemony and military aggression around the world.
      It is our hope at the Mormon Worker that we can give voice to the least—those that suffer in poverty as well as those that suffer from the violence of state sponsored wars and/or unjust laws and economies, etc.
      Look forward to your input. We are believing LDS to the degree that we take our sacred texts seriously when it warns us gentiles that we would do our gentile things—-and that we would even go so far as to begin to “pollute” the holy church of God (see Mormon 8:35-39) and/or “sin against the gospel” (3 Nephi 16:10) for which we need to repent.

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